By the Campfire
by Moonlight M3lody
Summary: Campfire, the silent witness of every ordeal challenged by the Heroes of Regeneration.Laugh, Tears, and Secrets exchanged around the orange red ember. Some are linked, some are not, but they all show that our heroes are just as ordinary as everyone else..
1. Raine and Kratos :The Cost of Faith

Night went high and the desert was completely silenced. Nocturnal creatures had yet to come out their nests, providing the two watchmen easier time. The campfire had been lit early, as anticipation for whatever things that could accidentally or even worse, consciously approaching their camp. One of the night watch plucking a stick on the burning ember, readjusting the fire to more comfortable position. He didn't actually need it, but it would be quite a problem if the others felt it too cold or too hot and couldn't sleep through the night. It would slow down their journey at least half a day if there was a sleepy one amongst them. He couldn't take the risk. Tomorrow they would be heading to the next seal.

A faint creak and footsteps broke the silence. His partner had come back, and from her calm pace he supposed nothing happened inside, all peace and bliss and good sleep. Good grief. Though she suspected he had known, she delivered the report, anyway.

"The children are asleep." She sat on a log they found earlier. The makeshift chair wasn't any better than sitting on the ground, but she quickly dismissed the though. The journey they were going to was not a simple picnic, and asking for luxury was foolish.

"Good." The stoic man stood, leaning himself to a big rock near their camp. His face showed that he had no interest on starting conversation, much to Raine's dismay, but she tried. It would be ridiculous if she spent the whole time in silence. Anything trivial was enough, as long as it kept them awake.

"Where are you from?"

"Somewhere far away."He didn't lie. Tethe'alla was no longer there, wasn't it?

"Do you...also believe in Martelism?"

It was simple and straightforward, but none that he couldn't predict. They had this running for 4000 years already, and he had accompany at least 50 Chosens (he lost count since 2000 years ago) and their companions.

"To some extent."For Mithos, she was unarguably a goddess. For Yuan, she was also one. For him...she was dear friend, and he had no difficulty in imagining her as a goddess. She was always be one.

Raine was annoyed. She chose to talk to him since it would seem very silly if she talked to herself, but talking to the mercenary was almost if she asked a bouncing wall. Fine, then. She didn't care. She would start it by herself. It was something she had kept for months, ever since she appointed herself as Colette's guardian.

"Do you think we'd succeed on this journey?"

It surprised her that he was slightly piqued by her question. He raised his eyebrows.

"Tell me what you're thinking of."

"You are old enough to know what I meant. I like Colette and while I think she shouldn't be burdened by something so heavy like _the_ _world_ itself at her age, I couldn't do anything than ensure her safety until the end."

"I'm listening. So what do you think we should do? She is the Chosen after all."

"She's human being, Kratos! She is still too young! And you know that everyone in Sylvarant relies on her for the Regeneration, and now, twice hopeful than ever!" she unconsciously glancing at the camp, realizing her voice was too loud a note.

"She is young indeed...I think Chosens above her went on the journey when they'd matured enough, and..."

"Yeah. Having someone to ensure the Chosen lineage continues in case she or he died. Look, Sylvarant is now in its worst condition of all time-so bad that we should send a little girl to a journey, one that probably killed her easily."

"A little girl without siblings or child." Came to think of it now, Tethe'alla's Chosen did have a sibling to replace him. The girl wasn't born from the church arranged marriage, but luckily her mana signature did possess the quality.

Raine sighed. She had heard whispers about the exact same thing since a few years ago, but they had no other option. Had the situation was not that worse, they would do it the usual way. Send the Chosen off when she/he had married and the next Chosen had been born. By doing it now meant they threw the last Chosen they had, the last one off down the cliff.

"You didn't need to emphasize it. I'm not really into Martelism, but Sylvarant is currently in such a chaos that I feel like any random goddess that could do the salvation is okay. It's just...how if she fails? I bet the whole world would condemn her without even knowing the hardships she had endured."

"Human is selfish. You know that by yourself. We send her expectantly, transferring the weigh of our burdens on her fragile body, then treat her like garbage when she proves herself not powerful enough to carry everything alone."

"You're human."

"I was."

"Was?"

Kratos winced.

"Being a mercenary means throwing off your humanity," he coldly replied. It was not entirely wrong, after all, though it did different than what he actually thought.

"I suppose. Okay, I digress. Anyway, I don't think I can do this any longer. You know, watching her with her friends like that. She deserves the right to live."

"You say something like that when we're ready to release second to final seal?"

"I've wanted to do this for a long time now."

"She does deserve the right to live, if only she is not the Chosen. Chosens live for their people's sake. Nothing could change it."

"I thought you're more than a taciturn, arrogant mercenary. I see that my expectations are too high. You're a cold blooded soldier, indeed."

"Thank you for your clarification."

The fire went off, as it ember turned into coal. Darkness once again shrouded the camp. Raine sighed; the creaking fire signed the end of their hopeless conversation.

"I'm going back to the camp. Lloyd will be the next on watch. I'll wake him now."

"It's okay. I can do this by myself."

For once, she didn't have the urge to argue. Her mind nagged for her attention, to review everything she had done till that day. Collete. Was keeping her secrets the entire time the best thing to do? Was accompanying her on this journey the best option? Was she doing the right thing by letting her die on questionable salvation? She was in need of a quality sleep.

Meanwhile, her companion was aimlessly staring at the burnt firewood, thinking the exact same thing he had though of back then, 4000 years ago.

_Would Martel be happy to see such sacrifice was being made for her?_

But the night didn't answer.

A/N: Lame opening, i guess. Sigh.


	2. Kratos and Regal :In Both of Our Eyes

A/N:How long had it been since i published my last story? Should be much longer than a year now. Highschool is both dreadful and amazing. Math test tomorrow:)

Warning: Might be OOC,and some long dialogues. Done in 2 sittings within 4-6 months

By the Campfire 2: Kratos and Regal-In Both of Our Eyes

Darkness hadn't fully usurped the land when the group bid good night to each other, retreating themselves into their respective camp. Occasional howl of the wolves didn't bother them the same way as the beginning of their journey. It was something they unconsciously getting used to, having to deal with the same circumstances almost every night. After all, it was expected. Though the cold wind of Flanoir had travelled its way there, they were barely at the outskirts of the city. One more day before they could actually set foot to the eternal city of snow and ice.

The rustling of the branches could very well be mistaken for unwanted intruder, and the hazy air today wasn't quite helping, only to promote the eeriness one or two level than it should be. In general, though, they were surprisingly comfortable with the place. In whole, it couldn't be more dangerous than usual. Wild animals and small packs of monsters were okay, at least compared to what they had been through lately. They were more afraid of places that looked peaceful and safe, that could bait them into the sweet thoughts of faux safety. The worst of times they had been experienced happened in calmest of places.

A man moved gracefully between shadows, eyes constantly fixed at the camp. The same eyes reflected dreariness, with overtone of sadness. Kratos-the man, heaved frustratingly, letting the air in his lungs acquired freedom in way harsher than needed. His chest was slightly hurting for his act, but he ignored it. The invisible crevice that ripped his heart ached more than he could remember. Even more painful than that damned night.

It was only a day and more since the revelation. The group was attempting to call the doctor residing in Flanoir for Tabatha. And he had been following them-no, he thought, stalking would be nicely suited-ever since. What for he couldn't answer. Half of his sanity told him to catch up with his son, telling him what truly happened, and make up with him. Words, as if they could came out his mind, which had been sealed for almost fifteen years. His time had only begun to move from the wretched battle for about more or less six months, since the second he instinctively protected the reckless teenager he met at the Oracle. Heck, he could even remember the way he looked at the boy, telling him with bitterness that he lacked the strength to protect. What an irony. He too, lost everything because he was too weak to protect a woman and a baby.

Sweat dripped from his shirt again. The nightmare had been played over and over in his head, in medley with his expression and reaction at the revelation. Good thing he had lost the ability to sleep. He was certain the same images would haunt him even to the realm of unconsciousness. He gritted his teeth.

He hated Yuan. The revelation had turned out to be worse than any scenario he ever imagined, and it was composed of thousands different situations of how the scene could be played, including some where Lloyd throw every insults and words in his vocabulary at him, cursing him outright, or turning away from him forever. None could be worse than what had actually happened. At least if he was shouting at him, calling him names, or walked away with disgust, it would be much more bearable. Instead, Lloyd looked straight at him, drilling numerous unsaid words of confusion and wonder, hint of sorrow, even a bit of anger at his lies and betrayals, but he was even more silent that he expected to. Words of venom lingered at his lips, left unsaid. Then he went back to the house, clearly lost somewhere between reluctance, denial, and acceptance. He could make out the sound of slammed door before the house went boisterous as Tabatha's condition worsened. He waited outside for god knows how long and for what.

He let out another heavy sigh.

"You're there, aren't you, Kratos?"

He was caught off guard. The voice, calm and monotonous, belonged to a blue haired convict sitting on a log by the campfire.

"It's alright. I've spotted you ever since you started following us. Now, show yourself, would you?"

He wanted to turn off the idea and just ran away from the place he knew he had no right to be. He had betrayed the group more than once, an irresponsible father, and one of the creators of the twisted world. If it hadn't for Origin's seal and how much Mithos depended on it (If he released it, the world could be far twisted and warped than it was now, as scary as it sounded), he wouldn't mind if they killed him once and for all. Still, something made him faced the man. Perhaps it was the familiar anguish in his voice, or his made up calmness, or they way he talked. Either one, he was attracted to the watchman of the night and seconds later, he found himself sitting at the opposite log.

For the first few minutes they didn't exchange any word to each other, staring blankly at the dancing ember. Finally, Regal cleared his throat, making the seemed-younger man looked at the former noble.

"I-I understand." The voice quivered, tried very hard to sound steady.

"I know how you feel," it continued. Kratos asked himself what on earth was happening, but when he looked into opposite man's eyes, it struck him.

"You remember, don't you? About Alicia."

How he actually knew about Alicia was beyond him, but Regal had a very convincing hunch that Kratos were everywhere they were, that he investigated everyone in the party. Being a Cruxis official, acquiring that information would be so easy.

"Mm-hm."

He knew that instant what had attracted him earlier. The glances they stole from time to time as replacement of words that couldn't came out coherently explained enough. They understand each other more than they thought.

"We'd failed the women we loved, and we punished ourselves for that," once again Regal was the one breaking the silence. His companion was still on edge of his own mind, trapped in memories as Regal himself always find himself to be. It was no surprise. Regal must had shocked him with the sudden shot of discussion.

Kratos examined his surroundings before coming back to the subject. Regal, who seemed as one of the group that could never really acquainted with him, in reality was the only one able to relate with him on this. The rest were either too young, too naïve, and they had never experience the feeling of killing someone they loved with their lives.

"I should've been able to protect them."

"So did I. but I'm sure you know how many times I'd spent to imagine the 'what-ifs'. It had been happened, impossible to change, and they burden lied within us. I myself, even after hearing Alicia's wish, still couldn't be free of that dreadful guilt."

"It was a dream, wasn't it? One time I was a lost knight who had nothing to protect in my life. One that messed up the world-literally- but could do nothing after being awakened that what I did was definitely a mistake. Then she came into my life, and nothing was the same anymore. I learnt about joy, about long lost feelings, about love. It was time when I remembered my humanity after being dead for thousand years."

"It truly was. Being an heir to the Bryant estate, I had no personal choice. I was walking on predefined line, with everything planned and readymade. She was a blessing, a true meaning of freedom. For once I defied the pre-made arrangement, and chose her over everything. She taught me how to love your life, no matter how lifeless you might think you are. Alicia…"

They took comfort in the following silence. Faint trickle of firewood replaced their murmurings, subtle snorings swept by the icy breeze. Perhaps, Kratos thought, he did need a purse to his thoughts. He had no more people to talk with evenly ever since he and Yuan distanced themselves. More than 3000 years ago. Aside of being quite stoic in most times, he had hard time in trusting people. That resulted in now, after his three companions were separated, he was alone. Martel, who used to give him various advices as well as being a good listener, was gone, and she was the sole reason on why everything happened the way it was. Shortly after that, Yuan too had become incomprehensible,though before they could not imagine anything that could tear them apart. Then Mithos... He cleared his throat, trying to offer continuation to their conversation.

"Is that why you called me?"

Regal nodded.

"We shared the same fate. I couldn't hate you the way the other does, hypocrisy aside. Perhaps I see myself in you, I don't know."

"I see no point in arguing this much further."

"Avoiding the subject? After last night, I think that's natural. But no, that wasn't why I called you."

Regal kept his voice droning, being as composed as Kratos, but anger had slipped to his tongue.

"I called you because you forgot what's important." A pause.

"You could amend. Lloyd is alive, and real. My Alicia, she'd gone away for good. You had lost your wife, but your child is here, needing you just as much. Lloyd-he-he'd accept you."

The anger died down. What was left was only sadness.

The words stung painfully in his chest, and suddenly the images were there, as vivid as he always remembered. Anna's transformation, Little Lloyd screaming, tiny red shoes left buried in the mud. Then the ever so optimistic Lloyd, his grins, his eyes. Fighting fiercely over command of his lacrimal, he repressed his stutterings with hardened heart.

"I'm not so sure. After all i've done to him,Regal."

His eyes were shining with longtime sorrow, trimmed with hope.

His own eyes, he suspected, would reflected the same, if not for the obvious pain and fear of rejection.

Funny, he could swear the younger person smiled for a split second.

"He will. You know that kid. Perhaps not now, and maybe not for quite a while, but he'll accept, Kratos. Raine told me the other day, about how he used to do stargazing because he felt the nostalgia, how he always wrote his wish on Father's Day, how Dirk must order him to sleep every night he insisted to wait for his 'daddy'. Raine knew more, obviously. Ask her some time in the future."

He did all that? He had heard bits and pieces too when he still escorting them to Sylvarant's seal. They came out of Colette's comments, Genis' teasings, and Raine's stories, responsible for keeping him under dilemma every single day. But now, they seemed more real, as if the nature's way to provide him insight on how his son lived these years was nudging him to confess, to apologize and start anew. Now he had the tugging urge to ask Raine once he had settled his issue with the group.

"Still not convinced? I know you're concerned about him. I also heard that you casted _First Aid_ on him many times during a battle, healing every single wound he might suffer from before the battle actually ended, even against weak enemies,not to mention your anger when he dangered himself. Despite your harsh words and sheer arrogance, the others concluded that you always worried about him. I don't even know what's going on right now, but the fact that you always follow us means that you do have some sort of plan."

"Involving Lloyd,"he added.

Finishing the uncharacteristically long monologue, the ex-president of Lezareno shifted, adjusting his seating position. "It's no more than an hour before i end my shift. You might want to settle this before Genis gets out and things get more complicated."

"I..."

Regal motioned him to go on. "You're right. I thought i've lost all my credibility as a father that night. I abandoned him. I forgot everything and reassumed my position in Cruxis, the very organization that killed my wife. I often imagined what would happen if only I went to more places, to Iselia to search for him, what kind of life would we went through, and often, i was scared. Anna was no longer with me. I have the slightest sense on how to raise a child by myself. I had been alone for centuries before she came. I couldn't give him normal childhood, couldn't keep him happy. With that thought, i confided that even if he was alive, it was best that he didn't have to live all his life in endless chase like we did. That didn't give me happiness i thought i'd get, the peace of mind, but when i realized i wanted him, that was too late. I couldn't descend to this world anymore, let alone tracing a boy who had been lost for years that no one knows alive or not. Until Yggdrasil finally let me out of Welgaia to protect the Chosen."

"Whatever deity we actually have, they are sure fond of irony, as i found him right in the first day. I questioned myself, trying to look at the other way, that it might not be my Lloyd. There it was; Anna's gravestone. I didn't know whether my wholelife crashed down or be revived that day. I suppose that's my punishment for twisting this world. "

It was interesting to note that in particular topics, even the silent Regal could be as talkative as Yuan. He chuckled inwardly, remembering a few exhanges they had before Martel's tragedy. About the future. About the world. About them. His words. "You think too much. Go on, and do what you should do."

He did think too much.

Patiently, the convict rummaged through the blackened firewoods with a long branch, setting aside the seared ones with the newly added ones. The fire once again roared to life. His handcuffs produced tinkling metal sound as he moved. "So, what will you do?"

"I'll wait,"said Kratos, firmly."I still have to sort myself out, and i believe he too needs a cooldown. How long will you stay in Flanoir?"

"It depends, though i believe it'll be one week at the most."

"I have one more thing to do, but after that i'll go there too."

_The business with the Chosen_, he added silently. _Just a little more to locate the exact location of the Aionis._

"Thank you...for this talk."

They looked at each other with newfound respect.

"Same to you. Remember, you have better chance than me. Use it wisely."

"I will."

"Now if you excuse me, i must wake Genis. I suggest you to go now."

So off Kratos into the curtains of night and for a decade, truly felt the way he was Kratos Aurion, the mercenary, instead of Kratos Aurion of Cruxis. They said a cure could be found in weirdest of place and time and he got to experience it firsthand that night.

He smiled. His mind was made. This time, he'd fulfill Anna's wish and restore the imbalance of the two worlds. Arriving to a safe spot, he pulled out a chained locket from under his shirt, opening it ever so gently.

"The next time we meet, I'll be able to face you."


End file.
